Lessons I Learned about Valuing Myself Part II

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Recently my immediate family suffered two devastating blows. My grand aunt who is like my mother’s second mother and my maternal grandmother died. I’ve believed for a long time, that when it's your time to go, its your time to go. However, I never really suffered the lost of any close family members. My belief was affirmed with the news of the deaths, and I further realized that it was the best way for me to conceptualize the idea that one day the person is here and tomorrow they are gone.

 

One of the things that weighed heavily on me however, was the fact that I would sometimes avoid calls or didn't call as often to these two women in my life, and now they are gone. The regret lingered...what did it take from me or for me to simply call and check in?

 

This assessment of myself was further exacerbated by the fact that when I traveled to Jamaica for both funerals in one week, the comments that I got from family members were “you can’t call?” “Mi tyad fi call and no hear back”... jeez. Is this the image that people have of me? This image extended to my friendships as well. When I relayed the conversation to my best friend and she said, “that's just how you are”.

 

What I realized was that this self image, gave people the impression that I did not care. It made them feel as if they are not valuable to my life. This is a lesson I have been learning all year - value. How to value myself and to value the people and things in my life.

 

Nevertheless, despite this painful self-reflection. I was taught a few lessons that I am sure will make me a better human being:

 

  1. Life is short. So live! Don’t wait until....

  2. Cherish the relationships in your life, be present with others and let them know you care

  3. Family is important. In times of need they will be there.

  4. Your good friends are just like family.

  5. Live a good life. Be kind. Be someone others want to be around.

  6. Your life is an example.

 

I trust that my reflection might provide some insight and trigger a moment of introspection for you as well.  Until next time, continue on your journey to your #rocketshiplife.